Grandmother, Wise Woman, Woman of Power

Grandmother, Wise Woman, Woman of Power

by Linda Heron Wind, Ph.D.

As I approached menopause a few years ago, I realized that there were no older women around me who I could ask the many questions I had. It seems that in today's world the person we are suppose to ask is a physician, who is usually either a man or a woman too young to have experienced this change. Their knowledge is from textbooks, research, drug companies, and second hand experiences. There is certainly a place for such information, but I wanted to know from women with first hand experience.

I imagine that long ago there were grandmothers, or community elders, who knew of such things and were willing to instruct an initiate such as myself. Today, however, most of the older women I know have had hysterectomies, are on estrogen, or are not willing to talk about such personal things. So I set out to gain the knowledge I needed to move into this exciting new phase of my life in a way that felt empowering to me. Along the way I began to see more clearly the growing need for older women everywhere to come together to re-vision this grandmother time. The journey led me to form a Grandmother Lodge, bringing together women who are moving through menopause and beyond.

I first learned of the concept of the Grandmother Lodge from Brooke Medicine Eagle eight years ago, while attending her vision quest camp in Montana. We did a Grandmother Lodge Induction there for those women who were done with child rearing and career nurturing. During this ceremony these women pledged to nurture all the children in the circle of life. I was so moved by the idea that I brought that ceremony back home and began doing inductions for the older women in the women's circle of which I was a part. What troubled me, however, was that once the women were inducted, they were on their own. Of course, they could still attend the women's circle, but there was no "practicing" Grandmother Lodge.

Once I made my vows at fifty during my induction into the Grandmother Lodge, I decided to create a functioning lodge, or circle of grandmothers. I invited all those grandmothers who had previously been inducted, as well as any other women who were beginning the transition through menopause, or who had already made the change. We started meeting once a month for a talking circle. There were occasions during the first year when I met with only one other woman, or even just held the energy at that time by drumming alone when no one showed up for the meeting. The second year, however, we began to grow in numbers and we now have about twenty five grandmothers, aged 45 to 70, with anywhere from eight to fifteen attending each meeting.

Our monthly meetings usually include drumming and singing, a talking circle, and discussion of a previously agreed upon topic. Sometimes we discuss tapes or books, share meaningful ceremony or ritual, or plan projects. Occasionally we have Grandmother's Teas, between meetings, where we all bring our current craft projects to work on while talking.

Through the sharing of our experiences, current challenges, joys, and visions, we have come to see ourselves as having a powerful roll to play in the community. As older women, experienced in life, we bring a perspective to the workplace, family, and community which is much needed. There are many ways in which we give the gift of our wisdom, such as: supporting issues we believe in; supporting mothers in their child rearing; holding ceremonies to support the spiritual life of the community; telling the stories that teach children about the journey of self discovery; and being a resource for younger women with questions.

The creation of a Maiden Circle is one project which the Grandmother Lodge sponsors. The Maiden Circle is open to girls, starting at age five, up until the time of their first menstrual period. Their mothers usually attend also. The purpose of the circle is to introduce girls to the beauty, power, and value of becoming a woman. This is accomplished in the following ways: providing powerful women models (the grandmothers); singing songs about women's power and dancing in circle; introducing them to talking circle, where they will learn to speak their truth and be listened to; teaching them to meditate to find their inner guides; telling stories which teach about life's lessons which are then discussed; teaching them how to create ceremony in their lives to help them to grow and change; taking plant walks and using other activities which connect them to nature; and creating sacred tools for ceremony, such as altars, medicine pouches, and talking sticks.

Each girl is given a white sash which she can decorate with her symbols of power and wear at each gathering (the mothers wear red sashes and the grandmothers wear black sashes to mark the three phases of womanhood). The Maiden Circle meets once a month on a week night May through September. This is the second year of meetings, with twelve girls and their mothers attending this year. The concept of the Maiden Circle continues to evolve among the grandmothers. We hope to have a Maiden Newsletter during the winter months to keep in touch and eventually to pair each maiden with a grandmother mentor.

One of the most powerful effects of the Maiden Circle has been on the grandmothers themselves. Each grandmother who has helped with the Maiden Circle has spoken of the healing her own inner child has received. It is as if her own inner little girl is finally feeling affirmed and honored for being feminine, in a way that never happened when she was growing up. The Maiden Circle experience is also healing for the mothers who attend, and the shared experience connecting grandmothers, mothers, and girls is mending the lines of women's widsom as they reach back through time. At each meeting we hold this healing vision in our intention when we each introduce ourselves by speaking our name followed by, "the daughter of _____, the grandaughter of _____, and the great grand daughter of _____," calling the names and spirits of our female ancestors to join us.

The ceremonial activities of the Grandmother Lodge include both the First Moontime Ceremony (induction into the Women's Circle) and the Grandmother Lodge Induction Ceremony. The First Moontime Ceremony is held in the spring for any girls who have begun menstruating over the last year. Girls attend with their mothers, if possible, and mothers are consulted about an appropriate "woman" name, or spiritual name, for the girl. The ceremony has many components including: a wreath of flowers for her hair; ritual bathing of hands and face; taking off the white sash and receiving a red sash; cutting the ties with the mother as a symbol of leaving childhood; giving the new name and speaking about the girl's gifts; and sharing of wisdom from the members of the women's circle which is then written in a small book for the girl to keep. Gifts are also given to the girls which symbolize what they need to know about being a powerful woman.

This year, for the first time, the Grandmother Lodge is having a retreat the weekend before the Grandmother Lodge Induction Ceremony, including the members who will be inducted. The purpose of the retreat is to give the grandmothers time to vision, connect on a deeper level, and prepare for the ceremony. I am excited about the possibilities as we continue to reshape our concept of what it means to be an older woman. The following song gives a feeling of where we are headed.

Grandmother, Wise Woman, walking in Beauty

Grandmother, Wise Woman, living with Joy

Grandmother, Wise Woman, healing the Vision

Grandmother, Wise Woman, dancing the Dream

Grandmother, Wise Woman, Woman of Spirit

Grandmother, Wise Woman, Woman of Truth

Grandmother, Wise Woman, Woman Creating

Grandmother, Wise Woman, Woman of Power

Page last modified Feb.2, 2002 by RMC