Closing the Gap

Closing the Gap

by Linda Heron Wind, Ph.D.

I have to laugh at myself sometimes because there is nothing else to do but either laugh or cry - and I feel much better when I laugh!

My mind thinks it has so much knowledge - all the books I've read and workshops I've attended. This knowledge is often displayed as others consult the encyclopedia of my mind on various topics, looking for solutions and remedies for their life situations. As my mind speaks its wisdom, I listen and often an inner voice says, "But you can't do that yet." A brief flicker of guilt comes up - that I am giving someone else instructions on how to do something that I cannot do myself - but then I laugh and say, "It's just the gap!"

Perhaps I laugh because I am grateful to be aware of the gap or maybe it is because I know that everyone has a gap between what they know and what they can do. The gap is much easier to recognize in others than it is in ourselves, and it is often the source of judgment about others as well as ourselves. I wonder how we ever developed the expectation that there shouldn't be a gap or the idea that having a gap is failure.

Certainly I strive in my life to close the gap, but just as I close the gap on one piece of knowledge, another gap appears elsewhere that I had not seen before. Learning to laugh when you notice the gap is an important part of "gap management." Here are some other things I have learned about gaps:

When you notice someone else's gap and are tempted to judge it, look closely to see if it is simply reflecting your own gap.
When you find a gap that you would like to close, try to focus on what would be different in your life if the gap were not present.
Visualize yourself being able to do what you know and feel the resonance of it.
Once you have seen yourself without the gap, take a step toward that goal everyday.
Look at what keeps you from acting on what you know, what stands in the way.
Be grateful for your awareness of the gap, for that is knowledge and wisdom in itself.
Be gentle with your gaps like you would with a child learning new things.

For example, I discovered that there was a gap between what I knew about how to deal with a pain in my back and what I was actually doing about it. I knew (and tell others) to talk to their back to find out what it has to say, tone and vibrate the area with color, use visualizations to see it healed, ask for a dream about it, etc. But what was I doing? I was taking some Motrin, feeling depressed, whining to friends about it, hoping it would feel better soon. A big gap was present between what I knew and what I was actually doing. As soon as I was aware of the gap, I laughed - maybe a bit faint but it was a laugh.

I looked at the options available from what I knew and I looked for the part of me that stood in the way of doing them - fear that they wouldn't work, not wanting to have to do anything, and the part that just would rather whine. I was able to point out to those parts of myself that their approach was not working very well and then set out to try one of the things that I knew how to do. I focused on seeing my back healed and feeling joyful about it, and maintained that focus and feeling throughout the day. By evening my back was better. And that gap was smaller!

I laugh at myself
Amused by my human-ness
Self-imposed limits

Releasing all fear
I step into the thin air
My wings hovering

Moving into fear
I do what needs to be done
Here in this moment

If you have comments on these articles or ideas for future topics, call Linda Heron Wind at (585) 924-5620 or send e-mail to LHWind@aol.com.

Page last modified Feb.2, 2002 by RMC